Maraming beses nababasa at narinig ko sa mga kaibigan kapag namatayan ng mahal sa buhay sinasabi na “Sana ginawa ko ito sa kanya..” Sana, sana.
Alam ko ang kanyang pakiramdam kasi maraming sitwasyun sa buhay ko na ipinagliban ko ang dapat ko gawin at nang nagkapanahon ako, wala na. Patay na ang tao.
Hanggang ngayun pinagsisihan ko pa rin ang pagkukulang ko sa aking tiyo, kapatid ng nanay ko . Ang tawag ko sa kanya ay Tay Medes.
Walang asawa ang tiyo ko at doon siya nakatira sa aming lugar sa probinsiya. May sarili siyang bahay kubo, katabi ng aming bahay sa aming baryo. Nangingisda siya at gumagawa ng kung ano-anong trabaho makatulong sa mga kapitbahay. May konting tulong din naman galing sa aming magkakapatid.
Ikinukuwento ni nanay sa amin na noong maliit pa kami at nagaaral sa highschool si Tay Medes, sa amin siya nakatira. Siya ang nag-aalaga sa aming magkakapatid.
Tuwing umuuwi ako sa probinsiya, palagi nagli-litson ng manok si Tay Medes para sa akin. Palagi niya kami binabahagihan ni Nanay ng kayang kuha sa panginisda. Napakabait at pasensyuso siya. Tinutulungan niya ako sa aking garden.
Ang bisyo lang niya ay magpusta sa lotto. Hindi naman siya sinuswerte. Palagi ako sinasabihan ng aming mga kapitbahay na “Bigay ka ng bigay ng pera sa tiyo mo, pinupusta lang niya sa lotto.” Sabi ko naman, kung yan ang kaligayahan niya, hayaan mo. Maliit na bagay lang yan.
Nang mga tatlong taon na ang nakaraan, hindi na maganda ang pakiramdam niya. Siyempre tumatanda siya. Nung nakitawag siya sa cellphone ng aming kapitbahay, tinatanong niya kung kailan ako uuwi doon at sinabi ko ang aking plano.
Sa malas naman, ipinagliban ko ang aking uwi dahil sa daming trabaho ay medyo gipit sa pera. Isang gabi, tumawag ang aming kapitbahay na inatake raw sa puso ang aking tiyo at dadalhin nila sa ospital. Malaki ang aking pasalamat na may mga mabait kaming kapitbahay. Ngunit ang sunod na tawag ng aming kapitbahay ay patay na ang aking tiyo.
Kinuha ko ang madaling araw na flight ng eroplano pauwi sa amin at inasikaso ko ang libing ng aking tiyo.
Kuwento ng aming mga kapitbahay, araw-araw siyang naghihintay sa akin. Nandun siya palagi sa tabi ng kalsada, inaabangan niya ang bawat bus na dumadaan at hinihintay niya ang pagdating ko. Huli na nga ang dating ko at iyan ay ang pinagsisihan ko ng malaki.
Malaking leksyun sa akin ang aking pagkukulang kay Tay Medes at sana sa ibang paraan mapunuan ko yan. Ito ay binabahagi ko para magiging leksyun din para sa iba na hindi maaring ipagliban ang panganga-ilangan ng mga matatanda. Wala na silang panahon para maghintay kung kailan tayo may oras.
Masikip ang dibdib ko sa kwento mo, Ellen. Iiyak muna ako….
Nakakaiyak nga.I’m sure your Tay Medes understands you. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Thanks, Chi, Becky. I try to make up for that failing of mine through other needy senior citizens.
From John Estallo:
Napakahusay ng lapat ng mga salita at mas mahigit na mahusay ang simple subalit makatotohanang aral sa buhay dulot ng iyong kwento tungkol kay Tay Medes.
there are times that we have to do what we have to do as life too short to dwell on regrets…
just barely 6 months ago or less, not knowingly who was I driving to a make shift studio, but only sure she was a very beautiful young woman, who was carrying a heavy duffel bag and overshot her intended destination by Bus…weeks later, in the news I found out it was the country’s representative to Miss Universe contest who was disqualified because that morning she did Shoot a commercial for a dating WEBsite for married couple and for its commercial…the theme…”Life is short, have an affair”…the woman said she has no regrets for her decisions, she may have lost the right to represent and becomes the miss universe, but as she said, you just can undo what had been done.
From Jun Medina, a fellow journalist now based in the United States:
I’ve religiously followed your writings in your blog, and I just want to tell you how much I enjoy reading your articles, including the choice pieces from colleagues that you post.
I was particularly touched by your short but moving account about your late uncle, Tay Medes. The humility, sheer honesty that went into that brief account was extraordinary and quite inspiring.
And thanks for posting that piece about Abby Tan who I befriended in the late 70s through the FOCAP group, when she was so full of energy and joy about our calling.
Myrna and I are are thankful for God’s victory in your own battle against cancer. We believe the Lord heard the prayers of so many people who love and care for you so that you may continue your mission as a crusading journalist.
Mabuhay ka, Kapatid!
Have you said to your loved ones lately “I love you”? When was the last time you said that to your parents, spouses, children?
It’s funny to see people spending time and money for the dead which they did not do when they were still alive. The Bible is even clear in its teaching that “the dead knows nothing”. When we pray, we pray not for the dead but for the living.
Simple things like doing a favor or helping a family member or friend means so much. Kadalasan kasi lahat ng oras at panahon natin ginugugol sa hanapbuhay at mga material na bagay. As the saying goes “Life is short”. Recently, I just lost my one and only brother.
2b1ask1, my deepest sympathy on your loss.
Ellen,
I just posted this on my Facebook account…the message is the same…Thanks
“This All Saints/ Souls Day my parents, both of them gone ahead of us!!! Not been able to pay them a visit this day with my other elder siblings, I knew they would understand why I missed this traditional visit..a rarity though. While my parents were still alive,..I said and showed my everlasting love for them, even when I was stationed in Mindanao, I always find time to send telegrams via the old, but reliable government communication facilities; RCPI and lots of letters too. With due respect to those people who in one way or the other have misunderstanding with their parents; have not communicated with them; not a thing about “how much they love them”–I have this much to say—Love your parents now….
Say it loud to them; everyday; every time! Call them (“now na”..mura lang naman ang load) whenever feasible…don’t wait for their last breathe ==and scream to the whole world, up to your heart’s content that you love them.. Otherwise you’ll hear deafening silence.they won’t hear you no more! So, love your parents and say it loud “now na” while they can still hear you.
Thank you so much Chi. The last time I saw my brother was in 2005. He had pneumonia and died 5 days after being confined in the hospital. I went straight to the mortuary upon arrival from the airport. I saw him in the coffin. I never got to see him for 5 years and did not have the chance to tell him I loved him.
Heartfelt condolences, 2b1ask1…
Thanks AnnaDeBrux. This article was very timely. We need to let our loved ones know we love them when they are still alive not when they are already gone.
A decade ago, my pader, mader, and older brod perished within two years; never had a chance to say goodbye just like many on this earth.
Thanks Ms Tordesillas for acting promptly on my request.