Here’s a video of Abby prepared by John Silva: files.me.com/jsilva79/jazq9h
When I opened my email, I saw a mail from writer John Silva, also informing friends of Abby’s death.
Abby is a Singaporean journalist and has been writing on the Philippines since the 70’s. She covered for Singapore Straits Times and later for other international publications like the Christian Science Monitor, the country’s struggle to restore democracy since the Marcos years. The Philippines has become “home” for Abby.
John and Maan were two of Abby’s closest friends who gave her constant company in the last four years that she was battling cancer.
In his email, John related, “Last Wednesday, she (Abby) declared she wanted to go to hospital, no more life supports, just the morphine drip.
“Once she was on the drip, it was difficult for her to have a conversation, she slept most of the time, but she was no longer in the excruciating pain she was suffering. She recognized us in those brief moments she was alert. She still had a smile for us this morning.
“You all know her to be very decisive and strong willed. Until the end she was that.
“In her last weeks, I often saw her looking at her garden with much affection and she would look up at the trees and the sky from her bed. She understood her transition and the love she received and gave to her friends was what carried her through.
“We grieve but remember what a wonderful friend she was to all of us.”
Strong willed indeed.
In one of I-can-serve (cancer survivors) get-together affairs in the house of movie and TV director and scriptwriter Bibeth Orteza, Bibeth asked her why she was standing when there were seats available. Abby replied, “Because I can still stand.”
I missed Abby’s cremation as I was at Clark in Pampanga for a VERA Files workshop on human rights investigative reporting. The last time I saw her was on Aug. 10. I visited her in her home in Marina Bay Homes. She was still up and about. She had lost a lot of weight but not bed ridden. She was scheduled to be back in the hospital the next day. In bidding her goodbye, I said I hope to visit her again. She said matter-of-factly, “If I am still alive.”
It was heartbreaking.
Abby’ s courage was amazing and inspiring. In December 2006, she updated us of her latest medical bulletin. She had granted me permission to use her letters for an article: “. The diagnosis went from stage 2 to stage 3 and then to stage 4 when a tumor was found in my liver, all in a matter of weeks. Stage 4 means the cancer cells have escaped from the primary area (breast) to other organs. In the coldest clinical terms, stage 4 means there is no more cure, as the cancer cells have gone to parts unknown and there is no assurance that the strongest chemo will successfully hunt them down.”
She said, “.. to those who have been kept riveted by my earlier medical bulletins and have the impression that I am strapped to a bed and hooked to a respirator, breathing my last, I want to re-assure you I am looking very normal on my feet and feeling quite healthy, except for dark rings around my eyes as a result of disrupted sleep these days when I wake up so often in the night seeing visions of the tumor in my liver. “
She further said, “I am aware my number has been called but I won’t be rushing to St.Peter’s gates. Each day will be lived to the fullest, with no regrets.
“What I have realized though over the past two months, is that the wealth I have built up is really my circle of friends who have supported me fully through this crisis. So many have taken time off from work to chaperon me to the doctors and countless lab tests in the hospitals. The breast cancer support network in Manila I-Can-Serve has been a warm cushion for me during those trying weeks. “
She said, “I am banking on my hormone pills to keep me around to share one more New Year with all of you.”
The Lord granted her wish for one more New Year and added two years , 8 months and 18 days.
We will miss Abby but as we always say in I-can-serve whenever one of our fellow cancer warriors went ahead of us, we are comforted by the thought that we have another sister in heaven watching over us.
She looked so young… RIP Abby.
A girl with a courageous heart and mind……
“I am aware my number has been called but I won’t be rushing to St.Peter’s gates. Each day will be lived to the fullest, with no regrets.”
Very brave woman, with very powerful words.
Rest in Peace and God’s Love, Ms. Abby.
may Abby Tan’s soul finds eternal rest and peace
Before Abby died, she told Maan Hontiveros not to have a wake. Instead, to hold a party three days after her death to be hosted by her. She left money for it. She planned the menu, music and the program.
She said it must be held in an open, happy place, not in a church.
Tonight, we had a party at the FVR Hall of the City of Arts in The Fort, beside the Tent.
We had the string quartet of the Manila Symphony Orchestra and violin soloist Jeffrey Solaris playing Vivaldi’s La Primera for the opening number and L’inverno for the closing number.
Soprano Camille Lopez-Molina, with Greg Zuniega on the piano,sang Mon Coeur s’ouvre a ta voix, aria from Samson and Delilah by Camille Saint-Saens.
John Silva presented Abby’s audio-visual presentation set to the music of Il Divo’s version of “You Raise me up”.
Thanks, Abby, for a wonderful evening. You will always be in our hearts.
No one should die due to breast cancer these days. You have to be vigilant about this disease. Last december, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Fortunately for us, it was found early. She had been getting breast exams yearly. Early detection and treatment is the key in defeating breast cancer. February this year, she underwent two operations to her breasts and had radio therapy for three months. We insisted that all treatment be done immediately. Just yesterday, we found out that she is free of the cancer for now. She will continue to get breast exams. I just wanted to share our story and highly recommend a breast exam yearly at least.